Wrestling with the Question
At the time I wrote this, the idea that Yahweh might not be the true Father was brand new to me. Jesus had whispered it in my prayer times, and although the thought troubled me, I knew I had to dig deeper.
My journey began when I asked Jesus why I felt hesitant around the Father. I did not trust Him. I thought Yahweh—the God of the Old Testament—was Him. So when I encountered the Father, I overlaid what I knew about Yahweh onto Abba, and it fractured my relationship with Him.
Stepping into the Vision
In quiet prayer, I asked to meet with the Father and Jesus and stepped into Heaven by faith.
I found myself in a place of lush green grass, waterfalls, and lakes. The sky was bright blue, and warm sunshine covered me. A river’s water lapped against the grass, clean and inviting. I rolled up my jeans and waded in. Jesus was beside me, also wading. Across the water sat the Father—strong, older, dressed in white linen, calm and steady.
I felt reservations in my heart. I spoke to Jesus:
“Jesus, I have fear in my heart regarding the Father, but I don’t want it to be there.”
He asked me gently:
“Wendy, do you trust Me that the Father I point you to is good?”
I admitted my confusion about Yahweh and the law, unsure if I even knew the real Father.
Jesus reassured me:
“Child, the revelation will be given to you… the enemy usurped My Father. Yes, he pretended. But My Father, your Papa, is holy. Trust Me.”
Running into His Arms
I confessed:
“Jesus, I don’t know how to love or trust Him in a peaceful, restful way.”
At that moment, the Father stood and walked into the river toward me, arms open. Though my heart raced, I ran toward Him, trusting Jesus’ words. Abba scooped me into His embrace. No words, just overwhelming love.
I whispered back in faith:
“I will trust You.”
Reflection
This was one of my earliest steps into recognizing Abba as distinct from Yahweh. It was raw, unsettling, but it began healing my fractured trust. Jesus invited me to know His Father—the true Father—as He really is: holy, safe, and overflowing with love.